Dude, take a hint. I do not want to sneak off w/ you for a couple minutes. If you can't handle what I wear, that's your problem.

i think the debate about pregnant women who are out interviewing for new jobs is missing the point. i interviewed for new jobs while pregnant, and i READILY disclosed that information, and guess what? i was hired. the point is, be HONEST about it and don't hide it. you shouldn't hide anything during an interview. it can definitely come back to haunt you if you are hired.

Whoa - the staple puller has a name? It's called an erkie? I never knew.

"There is no eye candy in my office. The ugly stick had a field day in here. I need somehting to look at."

Me too. Most of the people here are great, but I kinda want a bunch to leave or get fired just so we can increase the chances of getting a hot guy in here for once.

I don't deserve the raise, but I'll take it anyway.

I have every intention of taking home a pack of printer paper with me today. I even brought in a big tote bag to do it.

I get jealous when you talk about what you and your spouse did last night. I want that to be me and you so badly. And it will never happen

First day back from a month of medical leave.

I wished I would have died...

My extension is 216, it has been since I started working here. Charlie's extension is 406, it has been since he started working here. If you want to speak to Charlie, dial 406. This isn't so hard, and yet at least twice a week you dial 216 and act confused when I answer instead of Charlie.

Dear Mount Etna,

If you could remove yourself from my forehead, I could concentrate on work and not on your throbiness.

Consider my request urgently.

Yours truly, My Skin