I fucking hate Secret Santa type stuff. I love buying presents for people, but only if it's because I like the person and found something that's perfect for him/her. Secret Santa is just obligatory giving, and it's stupid.

We used to go out four nights a week after work and drink at TGIFs. Then I got married and had a baby. I honestly miss sitting around the office talking about all of the crazy shit we did. It made me feel connected to my coworkers. Now all they ask about is the baby. Damnit.

Going back to work on a Monday after a 5 day weekend is torture.

This is the first time I've gotten the standard 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving. Usually I have to go back to work on Sunday. I could get used to this. Can I have another?

All I want for Christms is:

PEACE ON EARTH : )

Just tell me already if I don't have a job in two weeks, the suspense is killing me

I'm on my thanksgiving vacation right now, yet all I'm thinkin about is how YOU will be back from your 2 week vacay next week only to disrupt the office with your loud ass mouth and annoying laugh. Sad, but true.

Stop adjusting your crotch while you stand in front of me and talk.

Dear Office Boyfriend:

I want to be the one you reach for first.....I want to be the one you want....and I want it to be okay that I want you....

Shut the hell up and get to work. I have to wait for you to do your job before I can do mine.